Self-Deception

There is a power struggle going through my mind every minute or everyday. Every action, every thought and emotion gets caught up into this conflict and the deadliest part is that I don't even realize it. The conflict is between what God's plan is and what my own mind wants. Is this the right plan from God for me? Or is my mind just excluding the bad signs to justify it's own wants? I start going through the bible looking for God's word, thinking that if I go to God nothing can go wrong. I read good verses and bad verses but the only ones that stick with me are the good verses that support my cause. Self deception. Here's where it gets difficult though. Right now I and anyone reading this can easily see where my mistake is. But when I'm in the position; I can't see it. It's always afterwards that I finally see my mistakes. Just because you are praying more and reading the bible everyday doesn't mean God will make what you want or are going after the right decision. This whole thing is a battle of the mind that, I continue to lose. Even in this realization of self-deception you are still susceptible to finding yourself with a blind fold over your eyes and you believing that you are actually blind.