Asta

Oh, put her up to beauty!

It loses it’s meaning

She shines bright as a star

All will notice her passing

None doubt she’ll go far

Like her mother,

She is fair in every manner

Like her father,

She carries her family’s banner

Clothed in light she stands

Under the sun she was born

Raised in wealthy lands

Which have seen no forlorn

She lacks in nothing

She is her Father’s pride

How can one as she

Be described with words?

I tell you, not the most

Clever spoken poet could

Put her into words

Asta, Asta they call you

But to your loving father

You will always be Estralita

His little star

Shine bright for the World!”

Innocence

This is a story about a girl who was finding herself. She had been protected her whole life with her walls of iron and slippers of soft velvet. But now she’s older, taking off her slippers she’s venturing beyond the walls that were built up for her. She is about to set her feet upon the sharp rocks. The ones she had been told about were out there. This is how she faired.

Ava set her foot upon the ground. The grass beneath her was soft but not as soft as her slippers. Still, it wasn’t the agony she was expecting. Continuing she came upon a boy in the sand. “Come play with me,” he called out to her. Delighted she set foot to the sand; coarse it was, but still not as sharp and painful as she was expecting. The boy and her played for hours in the sand. He was kind to her and gave her things that he had already had.

“You’ve just come out of your castle,” the boy, Thomas asked. “Yes, I have,” she responded. “I must show you the world then!” Taking her hand, he led her away from the sand and into the woods. The ground was varied here. Soft in spots but painful sticks and pine cones in other places. She learned quickly not to step upon those. Still this isn’t as bad as they said. And this boy is quite nice. They must have been mistaken. She said to herself.

He took her to see the smooth stream but it was filled with monsters. He showed her old gnarled Mr. oak but he was grumpy and filled her with fear with his creaking in the strong winds. They began to climb higher up then. The ground grew rougher but she continued on because she was following the boy.

He brought her up to the mountain cat that scratched her; he led her through the pit of snakes. They bit at her feet, leaving them bloody. The boy, Thomas, forced her inside the lair of spiders that crawled along her body and sucked her blood. She grew scared and told Thomas of turning back but he gave her reassuring words. So, she went on following him.

Time later they stopped by a river and Thomas left her. She met another boy there who warned her. “You mustn’t stay with him. He is after the fresh and naïve. He will leave you destroyed and broken. Instead, come with me along this river and I will take you to safer lands.”

Ava agreed but before they could get the boat off Thomas returned. “Where are you going,” he asked. “To safer lands,” she responded. Thomas laughed at this. “Don’t you know that there is no such thing?” She spoke again,” I was there once. So, there must be a way back.”

“Not for you,” he grabbed her but the boy in the boat jumped out and got in between Thomas. “She does not wish to be with you.” Then Thomas responded by hitting him in the face. The boy fell backwards. “Watch my girl,” Thomas said to Ava while picking up a stone off the shore. He began to smash the other boy’s head in. Again and again he struck.

With his hands covered in blood, he stopped. There, Ava stood while he wiped his hands on her white dress. “Can’t you see now,” he spoke,” your innocence is gone; and you will never be able to get it back. It’s like your virginity, once it’s lost it’s lost for good.” And there she wept. For she saw it now, the sharp rocks they had warned her about were true. But in the sense she hadn’t realized. She had always been looking for it but didn’t see that it was a matter of the heart. And the heart will hurt far more than anything that happens to the body. For it never goes away.

Self-Deception

There is a power struggle going through my mind every minute or everyday. Every action, every thought and emotion gets caught up into this conflict and the deadliest part is that I don't even realize it. The conflict is between what God's plan is and what my own mind wants. Is this the right plan from God for me? Or is my mind just excluding the bad signs to justify it's own wants? I start going through the bible looking for God's word, thinking that if I go to God nothing can go wrong. I read good verses and bad verses but the only ones that stick with me are the good verses that support my cause. Self deception. Here's where it gets difficult though. Right now I and anyone reading this can easily see where my mistake is. But when I'm in the position; I can't see it. It's always afterwards that I finally see my mistakes. Just because you are praying more and reading the bible everyday doesn't mean God will make what you want or are going after the right decision. This whole thing is a battle of the mind that, I continue to lose. Even in this realization of self-deception you are still susceptible to finding yourself with a blind fold over your eyes and you believing that you are actually blind.

When God shuts a door


it means that you have turned in the wrong direction

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I have come to the stunning conclusion that life is bittersweet


and your outlook on life decides how you feel


If you think it gloomy you see bitterness


If you think it happy you see sweetness


And if you think it's a learning curve you see bittersweet

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Death has never felt so final


it's the most bittersweet

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Are the answers to life there? Or are we just to selfish and full of pride to accept it on its terms?

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How much do we have to endure 
for us to break through?


Why can't we do that which is needed?


Instead we find ourselves doing the same old things


Can't we stop?


Are we so weak that we would let our bodies or mind tempt us?


We must show ourselves that we are stronger


That we can break through and we will


But it isn't easy, no path is

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Goodnight world


With all of your color

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There is a subtle peace when the future is unfolding before you


Things that weren't clear before begin to have understanding


Though the race isn't over, no it will never be over


You care less of the bad and see more of the good


That is the beginning of being an adult


And leaving your childish life behind

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How strange life is


cruel yet it gives us undeserved happiness


Where a mother gives a warm kiss


And a father's discipline brings wisdom 


Tears aren't all sad 
but tears of joy


Oh how strange life is...

hold on, fight through it

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There is a strong desire in my heart.

I feel it coming to the surface,

may it break through and shine bright!

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Poetry is the yearning of a mans heart

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There are so many possibilities,

different paths that one can take.

Which one is right?

I feel like I'm wandering in an old dark town with many streets.

Some are lighted and you know those are the worst streets to venture down.

so which of the dark ones hold my future?

God give me strength

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I'm trying to find innocents but i feel that it is just chasing after the wind...

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I love cold weather, in it I feel more alive than in any other season.

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It's strange how your persona is persieved differently by others. Some may think you kind while another cruel. But you are still the same person.

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Sometimes walking by yourself with no one around is all you need.

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Truth is so muddle nowadays that one cannot see the real truth


Cause how can one decide what is the truth?


What logic, what understanding can see pass ones own friends


Friends, who in turn, have many different views and truths or non-truths


I for one can only take it one step at a time and hope


Yes, hope that I will one day know enough truth


But we all know that one can never know enough truth


So what is left?

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I want to create something that will change mankind

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Don't you hate it when you get this urge to just scream and then you hold it in because you find yourself in public...happens everyday

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I want to go were the wind will take me.

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There is nothing quite like imagination

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I feel as if a prison is slowly closing in on me.

I can feel the air thinning,

I'm suffocating.

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There is a sadness in the air, and it bites just as cold steel caresses the skin.

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Has anyone thought really deep and felt like you were almost breaking through with something. Like you had an answer and then the feeling leaves you and your back in the normal world again....

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My dreams are shadows of my fears

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We are all on a road in the dark and always pass the roads that are lighted even though there is no mistaking them for the right road

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There beneath it all is something, something that not everybody sees.

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The more you learn in life, the more you realize that you don't know anything

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Cuplacere

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Doors open and doors close, Happiness comes in and sadness seeps through the cracks, Images are seen and then become bleary, What is can never be pinned down, Only parts are revealed and then they are taken away

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I want to do something that no one ever thought I'd do

I want to do something that I never thought I do

I want to do something that only God knew what I'd do

I want to do something that will start me afresh, anew

I'm in my box and I want to destroy it

It's closing in on me but I'm not afraid

I feel strength in me,"I will break free."

free! where everything is within my grasp

Soon, very soon I will break free

Just let it close in a little more

Come on, I dare you to

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The good thing about life is that it is always changing. So, if you aren't pleased with your life then go out and do something. You aren't restricted to the walls that people have built around you.

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And there she was


Sitting in her green dress


with the white fuss


She didn't think of me less



When I didn't have the words


Cause she knew them anyways


For they flew from me like birds


Even though I knew it was just a phase

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Opposition spurns progress more than any man would be able to do himself. Without it many of our beloved writings and inventions may never existed.

Random things I've written in the Past

What does a man fear more


Love or War?


Surely it must be Love


For a man can take bodily pain


But that which strikes at the heart


Will leave a man crippled and insane